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turtle racing and depression
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I think I will be enjoying some turtle racing tonight. Yay! I'm feeling unusually strange/depressive right now. Must be the overcast weather and the reality that I have a lot of work to do and I'm really tired. I sometimes feel like everyone else's life is going very well, while mine stays stagnant and goes nowhere. Though I know I'm "successful" in many ways, I sometimes feel left out of the loop. I've always felt that way. Maybe that's just the way I am and I have to accept it and move on with what I do have. I'm very unapologetic about many aspects of my personality, but sometimes it bites me in the ass. Oh well. I'm waiting for things to happen that never will, and I only realize that until it's way too late and much time has been wasted trying to make things work where the pieces don't and never will fit. I need to learn to accept things and let the pieces lay where they may. I had a strange dream last night that I was in love with this old friend of mine who I haven't spoken to in about five years. He is very unemotional and I know I couldn't call him out of the blue and tell him about it, which saddens me quite a bit. The strange part is, I've never had feelings for him, but in the dream, it just seemed right. I miss him, and wish I could regain a friendship with him, but it will probably never happen. He represents a past part of me which is very painful and I don't know if we could ever be friends on "normal" terms. One of those people I wish could happen across this site, read about it, and call me up. If you do read this, do call me, I miss you. Alright, enough depressive banter for one day. Someone e-mail me a joke or something to perk me up.
anterior - despues
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03-28-02 - 1:23 p.m.
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